Beauregard Snowbear

This purebred white american eskimo spitz was one of the best friends I've had in my life. I remember when we first got him, and washed him off in the tub. He could run from one end to the other, he was so small :) Beau was in many ways like a son to me. I spent hours every day playing with him, and teaching him. I expected him to understand a fair amount of the English language, and he was smart enough to do so. Also, I learned from him a great deal. We reached a point where he understood enough about me and I about him that we could have conversations. For example: Originally, he wasn't allowed to walk on the carpet. Then Dad decided he was responsible enough to be let on the playroom carpet but not the livingroom's because it was an almost white carpet. Beau wanted to know why he could step on one but not the other, and I was able tell what he was asking and explain it to him in terms he could understand :)

I could write pages about experiences I had with Beau. Times he chewed the frisbee or chased me on my bike. Forests we've explored together and quiet moments we shared. My love for Beau goes beyond that which most pet owners hold for their pets. There was even a time where I thought about expressing my love for him with physical intimacy. He was nervous about it, though, so I let the matter drop.

Then came the worst night of my life. I had gone away for the weekend, and left Beau in my Dad's care. Beau wandered into a neighbor's yard, and for no other reason than it was his yard, the man shot Beau. The entire family was torn up by it, as were all of my friends, but none moreso than I. For a moment, I felt rage, the desire to kill the man who had killed my dog! Fortunately, I have a habit of talking out strong feelings with my friends before acting on them, and I did nothing rash. I never told my friends how much I loved Beau. Even then I was afraid that they would brand me as "sick".

I saw Beau's spirit a few times after his death. The first time, I cried and pet him mentally, asked forgiveness for all the times I caused him pain, and asked if he resented the intimate contact with him I had. He forgave, and told me he loved me, and he had been afraid simply because I was also. The last time I saw him was when I was driving to Dayton one day. He appeared in my mind and I pet him longingly. He told me he could not follow me anymore. I thought he meant he was limited by distance, and that he couldn't reach all the way to Dayton. I told him it was alright, that I still loved him. He turned and ran towards a bright light. That's the last I've seen of him.